How to write a eulogy with AI (gently, in your own words)

Gather memories before you write anything

Start by letting the AI interview you. You can answer by typing or by voice, in fragments. You can also paste in memories other family members send you by text.

I need to give a eulogy for my [relationship, e.g. grandmother], [name], who was [age] and lived in [place].
Please interview me to gather material. Ask one gentle question at a time and wait for my answer.
Cover: what they were like day to day, a few specific stories, what they cared about, things they used to say, how they treated people, and what they'd want people to remember.
After 8 questions, list the details and stories you heard, grouped by theme. Don't add anything I didn't tell you.

Small specifics carry a eulogy: the song they always hummed, the way they answered the phone, the recipe nobody could copy. If you're stuck, ask a sibling or friend the same questions and paste their answers in too.

Pick a simple structure and a length

Many eulogies run about 3 to 5 minutes, but ask the funeral director, officiant or family how long you have and whether others are speaking. At a relaxed pace people speak roughly 120 to 150 words a minute, so 4 minutes is about 500 to 600 words.

Using only the details I gave you, outline a eulogy:
1) Who I am and my connection to [name] (1-2 sentences)
2) A short picture of who they were
3) Two or three stories that show it
4) What they taught me or the people around them
5) A closing goodbye line
Target: [4] minutes, about [550] words. Show the outline only, one line per section, naming which story each part uses.

Change the outline until it feels right before you ask for a draft. It's much easier to move stories around at this stage.

Draft it in your voice

Give the AI a sample of how you really talk, like a long text message or a voice-memo transcript, so the draft doesn't sound like a greeting card.

Write the eulogy from the approved outline.
Match my voice from this sample of how I talk: [paste sample].
Rules: use only the facts and stories I gave you, don't invent any details, quotes, dates or achievements. Short sentences that are easy to say out loud. Warm and honest, light humor only where the story is naturally funny. Avoid clichés like "they're in a better place" unless I asked for religious language.

If your family has a faith tradition, tell the AI which one and ask it to leave a spot for a reading you choose, rather than picking scripture or quotes for you. Check any quote it suggests in a reliable source before you use it.

Check it with the family in mind

Review this eulogy as a relative who loved [name] but might be sensitive.
Flag: anything about money, health, family conflict or exes, private details someone might not want shared, inside jokes most guests won't get, and any line that sounds generic.
Then suggest one specific detail I could add to make the weakest paragraph more personal.

Then read it to one family member before the service. They'll catch a wrong name, date or detail faster than any AI.

Make it easy to say on the day

Grief makes reading hard. Print it in a large font with short paragraphs, and mark where to pause.

Format this eulogy for reading aloud at a service:
- short paragraphs of 2-3 sentences
- a [pause] mark where I should breathe
- bold the first few words of each paragraph so I can find my place
Also give me 6 short cue-card bullets in case I want to look up more.

It's completely fine to take a breath, have water nearby, or ask someone to stand next to you. Many people hand a copy to a backup reader, just in case.

Reuse the work for an obituary or memorial post

The memories you gathered can also become a short obituary or a social media post. Obituaries often include full name, age, dates and places, family members and service details, so check every fact with the family and the funeral home before anything is published.

Using only the facts below, write a short obituary of about [200] words in a warm, plain style.
Facts: full name, age, date of passing, hometown, family members to list, work or interests, service time and place, where to send donations: [paste]
Mark any spot where a fact is missing with [CHECK] instead of guessing.